However, Megan respected her daughter’s decision. “We live in a very sports-centered community where pressure builds every year, and I think it's so important for our kids' mental health to know when to respect their decision to step back,” she added. Families must recognize that a well-rounded sense of self is imperative to overall health, wellness, and life satisfaction. Parents should encourage their children to find joy in various avenues and outlets. Offering a variety of opportunities for kids to explore, experience, and socialize can encourage youth to cast a wide net and cultivate a variety of interests, outlets, and support systems. It is also important for families to remember the joy of doing things simply for fun. Not every activity, event, or experience needs to be tied to a goal. The goal can be to simply find joy in the raw experience. Ireland has the following advice for young athletes and their families: “You can't just put your identity in the sport you play. Otherwise, you'll lose yourself if it's not there. Take the lessons and tools and apply it elsewhere. It is what makes an athlete more than just an athlete.” Everyone, regardless of age or interest, should continue to develop a deeper awareness of themselves and continue to enhance their sense of self. Here are a few tips to embark on this journey: • Set reasonable expectations. Perfection is not possible, but progress is. • Spend time alone. Too often, we are over-connected and over-scheduled. Spend time reflecting on who you are, how you feel, what you like, etc. Give yourself time to decompress and just be. • Practice self-care. Self-care looks different to everyone. What do you need? How can you show up for yourself? • Try things just for the fun of it. Take a new class, read a new book, do something just for fun, no expectations attached. • Speak kindly to yourself. Compliment yourself daily. What are your strengths? What are you proud of yourself for? Speak nicely to yourself in the mirror each morning, or write a daily self-love statement on a Post-it and put it on your wall. • Practice self-compassion. It is ok to make mistakes, fall short of goals, and feel disappointment. Show up for yourself in these moments in the same way you would show up for a loved one. • Help others. Volunteer or assist a person, family, or organization that means something to you. Helping others increases self-worth, a sense of community, and the feeling that you truly do make a difference in the world!
Photo courtesy of Ireland Paddy
For some athletes, such as those contending with injury, loss of athletic involvement and ability can be devastating. When a core part of their existence has been ripped away, it can lead to feeling lost, depressed, isolated, hopeless, and, in some cases, suicidal. Don't hesitate to enlist professional help if this is the case. Some athletes might find fulfillment and a sense of belonging by remaining involved in the sport in a different role, such as a team manager, or coach’s assistant. If the loss is only temporary, they might find a sense of peace in going to practices to still feel connected to their team. For others, this close proximity without the ability to be directly involved might be too painful. How to handle this decision will be unique to each athlete and their family. Annapolis mom Megan Paddy was surprised when her now college-aged daughter, Ireland, voluntarily let go of athletics. “I committed to college lacrosse but decided against playing, because I… [enlisted in] the Marines… before I graduated high school,” Ireland said. Megan had to do some soul-searching to recognize how deeply rooted her own identity was in being a “sports mom”. “When Ireland decided to stop playing it was a shock. It… took away a piece of my own identity as a sports mom,” she said. “For 14 years, every weekend, weeknight, and summer were practices, games, and tournaments, and then it was over.”
98 | THE MOTHERLODE
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