The Motherlode Spring 2024: Women at the Helm

From Heartbreak to Hope : Dating Wisdom for Single Parents By Heather Greenwell

When you’re a single parent, getting back into the dating world can feel overwhelming. Let’s be honest; at any age, meeting new people can be quite an experiment. You might even wonder what the quality of the dating pool is like and if having kids will set you apart from finding love again. Here are some things to remember as you embark on this journey into the wilderness of dating post-kids: It sucks when a relationship ends, but through the heartbreak, we also gain the awareness of what we are no longer willing to tolerate in a partner . Our priorities have now evolved as we look to tackle the needs and wants of our children and ourselves. We must integrate the right kind of person into the mix of our fast-paced lives. When you start dating again, be true to these lessons learned, and don’t compromise on the important stuff ! Remember that intentions have a lot to do with finding the perfect match. Whether you’re choosing to meet people online, through friends, or organically, knowing the type of relationship you’re looking for sets the stage for everything else. Prioritizing what is important gives you a strong sense of self throughout the dating process. Take your time. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking it slow allows you time to sift through any possible red flags, introduce your kids to the situation (eventually), and remain grounded throughout the relationship.

When it comes to jumping back in the dating pool, Susan Trombetti, Celebrity Matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking (who also happens to have been a single mother who met the love of her life at 35 and married him at 40), offers these suggestions: • Expand your social circle and become part of at least one new one. Stop rinsing and repeating with the same friends and make some new ones. They have may friends that are single. • Kick up your dating attire a notch and go out looking sexy. I love slip dresses. It beats the Mom uniforms. • Go to significant events such as the Preakness and spend money to be in the nicer clubhouse seats. Go to events around town and plan them out for the year. There is the Annapolis Baygrass Festival, the Polar Bear Plunge, and Bands in the Sand to name a few. Some will be a bust, but get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. • Hire a matchmaker or an online dating coach. You are worth it. January is the perfect time to meet someone. The first Sunday of the month is the Superbowl of online dating. Don’t miss that day. • Go to gallery openings, charitable events, or whatever speaks to you, but break up your routine and put yourself out there. We don’t stop being individuals who need company, companionship, or romance just because we have children. We must find a way to make dating work for ourselves. So get out there, and good luck!

86 | THE MOTHERLODE

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