Military Families: How to Support Someone With a Deployed Spouse
by Megan Cannone LCSW-C, OSW-C, OPN-CG
The first week of January, my husband received orders to deploy for six months. What began as an email notifying him that he was on a shortlist for a year-long deployment quickly evolved into a series of discussions between us. After weighing the options, he made the decision to take the six-month deployment rather than risk a longer absence. This is not the typical conversation many couples have unless they are part of military life. This unique experience prompted me to reflect on the support families like mine need when deployment arrives. The truth is, I am scared. I’m afraid something will happen to my husband while he is so far away. I’m saddened by the milestones he will miss in our children’s lives. I’m overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for our three children, working full-time, and maintaining a sense of normalcy while he’s gone. I also worry about the adjustment periods when he leaves and when he returns—a challenge that requires its own support. If you know someone in this situation, first and foremost, please avoid saying things like: • “You knew what you signed up for when you got married.” • “You’ve been lucky so far.” • “My spouse travels for work all the time.” While these comments may seem well-intentioned, they can feel dismissive of the challenges military spouses experience. Additionally, simply saying, “Let me know how I can help,” can be overwhelming because, at that moment, I may not know exactly what I need. What I need most is for people to acknowledge my feelings of fear and anxiety without trying to “fix” them. I’ve found that when others offer concrete support, like committing to bring a meal on a set day or offering to drive a child
Megan and Lt. Col Anthony Cannone pose with their three children.
to practice, it can make a significant difference. Small gestures like inviting our family over for dinner or including us in weekend plans can provide comfort and a sense of community. At the end of the day, I know everything will be okay. Those of us who marry into this life are resilient and independent, but we’re not always the best at asking for help. Thankfully, I know people who have my back and will support me and my children throughout this journey. As the deployment approaches, I am giving myself and my children permission to feel whatever emotions arise. I ask that you do the same for any other family you may know who is going through a similar experience.
APRIL 2025 | 61
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