• Am I seeking support from lived-experience communities like Annapolis Pride and PFLAG Annapolis/Anne Arundel County? Outside the Home • Do I know my child’s school policies on LGBTQ+ inclusion? How am I addressing issues such as book bans that limit representation? • Do I have LGBTQ+ people in my life who are not my child? Does my child know this? Mental Health • Do I regularly check in with my child about their mental health? Have we broached if therapy may be helpful? • How have I talked about mental health in my home? • What am I doing to model healthy coping skills? Have I considered therapy options for my family? View a list of Anne Arundel County therapists in the winter 2025 issue of The Motherlode . Long-Term Support & Growth • What am I doing to ensure my child feels affirmed every day? • Am I prepared to support my child into adulthood, even if their identity evolves? • If my child brings home an LGBTQ+ partner, will I treat them with the same respect and warmth as I would a heterosexual partner? Your discomfort is not harmful but your silence is. Support is an active process. And yes, children notice who stays quiet. Healthy family relationships and unconditional love from parents are everything to a child. The smile on your child’s face when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you support them is everything, and in the long term, your children will come to learn that they can lean on you for anything that comes their way. Join us for Annapolis Pride on May 31. My mom will be there, will you? Source(s): The Trevor Project. “2023 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ Young People.” The Trevor Project, https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ survey-2023/. Supporting LGBTQ+ Children: A Parent Assessment
by Eddie Lomash, LCPC, CST, PhD
Supporting your LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning) child is simple: Tell them you love them. Listen. Believe them. Ask what they need and show them that they are safe with you. Be open and curious about your child’s mental and emotional health. Forty-one percent of LGBTQ+ youth have seriously considered suicide, compared to 15% of non-LGBTQ+ teens. 1 I don’t say this to fearmonger, but to reinforce how serious this is. When LGBTQ+ youth have access to affirming psychotherapy and support, their mental health outcomes improve dramatically. I spoke with Annapolis Pride Board Chair Joe Toolan and Advocacy & Communications Committee Chair Christine Feldman to develop an assessment for parents to gauge how well they have been supporting their children. The reflection questions below will help you assess where you are and what you can do better. If strong emotions come up, take a few minutes and write them down. Reflect on them and then talk about them (with someone who is not your child). Communication & Conversation • Am I actively listening, or do I jump in to minimize, give advice, or try to “fix” things? • How do my facial expressions and body language respond when my child shares something with me? • Am I reflecting on and addressing my feelings that come up? • Am I processing those feelings on my own time without putting them back onto my child? It Starts at Home • Have I explicitly told my child that they are loved and accepted exactly as they are? • Do I have visible signs of support in my home? These signs of support might include books, inclusive conversations, pride stickers, affirming entertainment choices, avoiding slurs, and using their correct name and pronouns. • Do I shut down or correct bigoted language, or do I excuse it as “just a joke?” • Am I helping my child find safety in spaces where they feel unsafe? Examples include school, family gatherings, and religious settings.
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