these same skills when it comes to the media. Have conversations with them about the differences between natural bodies, and bodies enhanced or altered by makeup, surgery, filters, and special effects. While the images teens see on screens might be pleasing to the eye, encourage them to pause and reflect on the following questions: • Do these images represent reality? • How much of this has been altered or edited? Whenever possible, point out examples of filtered pictures, not only of people but also of nature. While Photoshop, makeup, and alterations can be fun to experiment with, it is important to balance these enhanced images with untouched ones as well. Model a Healthy Relationship With Yourself Remember that one time you said a bad word in front of your toddler and they said it repeatedly at preschool for a month? Well, our teens are listening (and watching) too. Take a moment to reflect on the messages you are sending about your relationship with your body. • What words do you use to describe yourself? • How do you feel about the way you look in pictures? • How do you feel about your clothing? • What are your comments and behaviors surrounding food and exercise? Practice mindfulness when it comes to how you talk about your own body, food, and exercise. Instead of saying things like “I need to lose weight” or “I should really exercise more and stop being so lazy,” try saying, “I want to nourish my body with healthy food” or “I’m exercising because it makes me feel strong, sleep better, and feel more energized.” By demonstrating self-compassion, we set an example for our teens to do the same. The Power of Body Neutrality Sometimes it’s hard to find the things we love about our bodies. Oftentimes on our way to “loving” ourselves, we have to learn to simply accept ourselves as we are. Consider this a neutral territory where we can pause as we strive to work toward body positivity. Some of us will stay here with body neutrality forever — my body is strong, my body is healthy, my body helps me perform my daily tasks, my body is capable, etc. Many of us are perfectly content with this mindset. But if body positivity is where you want to be, body neutrality is a great first step. Body neutrality often means focusing on what our bodies can do, rather than how they look. It is also important to build self-worth beyond surface- level attributes. Whether you are talking about yourself, or complimenting your teen, strive to incorporate compliments and observations that go beyond appearance. Examples include: • I love how you practice self-care by going on walks to unwind.
• Your dedication to your soccer team is so admirable. • Your laugh is contagious. • The way you treat your friends is so loving and kind. • I feel inspired by you. • Listening to you play music is such a beautiful experience. • Watching you perform onstage is captivating. • You brighten my day. • You are so intelligent. • I love how you listen to others so intently. • I love your authenticity. • There is no one else in this world like you. I am so glad you exist. Balance Social Media Exposure It’s nearly impossible to escape the influence of social media altogether. And not all media is bad, so it is important to find the right balance of exposure. Talk with your teen about what red flags to look out for when it comes to social media accounts and influencers. Influencers shouldn’t make us feel bad about ourselves. They should make you feel inspired, uplifted, and encouraged. Send examples of accounts that take a more positive mindset, or better yet, ask them for help finding you some! Asking your teen for help can make them feel needed and valued by you, and introduce them to positive content. When to Seek Help Even if we’re having open conversations with them, monitoring their social media use, and modeling healthy habits, our teens may still struggle. Do not hesitate to reach out for professional help. Some warning signs that your teen might need extra support include: • Frequent talk comparing themselves to others • Fixation or obsession with weight
• Exercise used as punishment • Drastic increase in exercise • Obsession over food choices • Restricting food intake • Frequent criticism of themselves • Changes in mood or behaviors
• Withdrawing from friends • Loss of interest in hobbies
Cultivating self-worth and self-confidence is a lifelong journey. What is one way you can model self-love today?
APRIL 2025 | 83
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